After suffering with BDD for many years, Tilly is now reaping the benefits of all the time and effort she put into recovering from the condition. Her story proves that if you keep putting in the work, you will get something out of it.
You can download the transcript for this episode here:
“I’m Ellesha, a fashion photography MA student. I had been struggling with body dysmorphia on and off for many years. When I moved to London I felt a pressure to look a certain way and my body dysmorphia took over my whole life, to the point that I couldn’t leave my flat for days because I was obsessed with what I looked like. It effected my studies, my job, my friendships and relationships I felt like it had taken every part of me that I once loved.”
“I wanted to express the way I was feeling through my art. I find that self portraiture is the best way to convey what I’m truly feeling and it expresses a vulnerability that I can only get from being the model.”
“I began by getting 3D scanned whilst wearing lingerie, this was daunting but I felt most at one with my body this way. I then manipulated the images in various ways to express the way my mind felt about my body. The results became un-human and alien like as I distorted myself to be unrecognisable.”
“As I began to work on the ideas, I heavily researched the disorder and the aspect of mind body dualism meaning I was able to better understand my situation and find ways of slowly accepting myself.”
“I hope that by making this work I can show that body dysmorphic disorder can have hugely devastating effects on the everyday life and completely change the perception we have of ourselves. But to show that no one is alone in experiencing it and there is a light at the end of tunnel.”
Instagram: @elldoubledaze
This week, Tilly was featured on the BBC Sounds’ Room 5 Medical Mysteries program with broadcaster Helena Merriman. Tilly explains how, from an early age, she, never felt right in her body and how utterly disorientating that is, until one day she sat down with a therapist to put a label on that feeling.
BDD is misunderstood – even in the medical profession where the average time from recognising there is a problem to an actual diagnosis is 10 years! In that time, lives can spiral out of control, social, family and professional life can diminish to zero.
“From the outside, Tilly seems to have life figured out. She works in fashion, lives on a house-boat – for which she’s done all the plumbing and electrics. But inside, she’s struggling. She’s always felt wrong in her body – ever since school. Then one afternoon, Tilly sits down with a therapist – who fits the pieces of the puzzle together and gives Tilly a diagnosis. Tilly’s diagnosis explains the way her brain is wired – now her challenge is to re-wire it, and change her future.”
Pandora launched the Hurt to Healing podcast earlier this year. She opens about about the ‘uphill battle’ she has with her mental health for years. She has now begun ‘to see some glimmers of light’. As part of her own recovery, she has made it her ‘mission to support as many of you as possible on your own healing journey’. In this podcast she speaks to wonderful people from all walks of life who have opened up about their own invisible struggles in the hope that it will provide a bit of solace and comfort for some of you. She speaks to leading experts and doctors about different disorders and therapies that might help expand your knowledge on the world of mental health.
Please follow @hurttohealingpod
Since leaving the reality show, The Only Way Is Essex in 2015, Charlie has struggled with both depression and body dysmorphic disorder. The pandemic was a challenging time for all of us. And Charlie admits that psychologically he was not in a good place, which led him to get surgery on his nose. Charlie now uses his platform to call for mental health awareness on this issue, and I’m so glad to be able to get the chance to talk to him about it today.
Dr Jassi is a consultant, clinical psychologist at the National and Specialist OCD, BDD and Related Disorder Service for Children and Young People. Body dysmorphic disorder affects about one in 50 people. We discuss why it’s such a debilitating condition, why there is a lack of insight into it and I ask her about what treatment and therapies are available.
Meet Robyn Stern: She is a licensed clinical social worker in the United States specializing in treating BDD. She was formally diagnosed with BDD when she was 22 years old after several years of not knowing what was wrong with her, misdiagnosed with depression and anxiety and struggling to maintain day to day tasks and functioning.
“Life as a I knew it failed to exist, as my thoughts about my appearance consumed me and took away all the joy in my life; (family, friends, and school). The thoughts of my appearance being faulty, led me to feel defective, different, and just not sure how to navigate the world on a day-to-day basis.”
Robyn accessed evidence-based treatment and utilized Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) and Acceptance Commitment Therapy as well as more intensive psychotherapy with a licensed therapist:
“I have learned that BDD and my physical appearance do not need to define me and how I choose to live each day. The work while challenging has given me a place in recovery, which has allowed me to give to other people. I am extremely enthusiastic about understanding the complexities of this disorder because it took so much life from me, but most importantly, I want to help others.”
